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I Am Done Trying! It’s Time To Respect Myself And Take A Deserving Walk

I am not writing to get counsel for a change my mind. No! This time around, I am done! And I can imagine someone asking, “So why did you write to MIM?” I will tell you. I am writing to MIM so that I can unburden what I have on my mind before I run mad. I cannot take it again. Samuel’s plan is for me to run mad but I would not make it easy for him. It’s time for me to respect myself and take a deserving walk.

Moreover, I spoke to a lawyer friend of mine a few days ago. I needed to know the grounds on which divorce can be granted and I seem to be on course.

She told me divorce could be granted if a couple has not had sexual intercourse for a full year, especially if there are no justifiable reasons for it. There I have my reason. It is sealed and delivered!

Samuel has not touched me in the last 7-months even though we sleep on the same bed and I am tired of playing the prostitute for a man who was supposed to have my back always. As far as I am concerned, he seems tired of our marriage but rather than speak up, he is ‘punishing’ me for no fault of mine.

We have been married for 10-years with two children, a girl and a boy respectively 8 and 6 years old. Every time we have a misunderstanding, Samuel would begin to keep late nights, refuse to attend church with us, refuse to eat food cooked by me, starve me of sex, and keep malice with me for as long as it takes me to cry and beg him for forgiveness. This he would do irrespective of who was at fault. In our 10 years of marriage, Samuel has never apologized nor try to make things right between us if I do not make the first move.

There was a period I saw his chat with a girl. Through their conversation, I realized he was asking the girl out and she was telling him he could not have two people bearing the same name. Apparently, the girl in question bears same first name with me. Samuel had asked the girl if she would date him if the other *my name* is no more in the picture!

When I confronted him about it, all he asked me was what right I had to go through his phone.

In our 10-years of marriage, he has cheated on me countless times. Some he knows I know about, some I did not let him know I knew about but in all, he never shows remorse for his attitude.

I feel he has no regards for me. Presently, his new style is to ignore me when I talk, or reply me like we were having a fight. I called his attention to his new attitude but he did as if he couldn’t hear me. I am not a burden on him. I have my job and he runs his own business. I do not wait for him before taking up financial responsibilities in the house. Either of us could pay the children’s school fees, pay the house rent, and other bills; no one is a burden on the other person.

I recently saw his chat with one of his exes trying to patch things up with her because he found out she is now divorced. Thankfully, she told him off and blocked him. The lady told him he was being disrespectful to his wife. In their chat, the lady asked about me and requested to see my picture. Samuel instantly sent my picture and those of my children to her. He told her everything about me and the lady told him he has a beautiful wife and that he should not lose me. She told him never to contact her again and afterwards, blocked him off.

Of course, he doesn’t know I have that information. What if the lady was wicked? What if she decided to get me and my children killed so that she could be back with him? Do you see how wicked this man is?

I am a beautiful woman by all standards. I get few stares when I walk into any room so I know it has nothing to do with my looks. When I hear women say how their husbands pamper them I ask why my own is different. I have never been pampered by this man but I have constantly pampered him all the 10 years of marriage. Courtship wasn’t this difficult though truth be told, I saw some of these signs in the 3 years we courted but he used to apologize when he was wrong then.

Like I said, I did not write here to be told to change my mind because I do not want to raise children in a home like this. I am not even sure I am still in love with Samuel. His sight disgusts me now a days. I want out!

Just chilling for a full year of no sex to make the move. I am done!!!

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