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Full of Regrets, I Should Never Have Married My Husband

I am a mother of two, a 2 year and a one year old. I should never have married my husband. Now, I am full of regrets.

At the time hubby and I met, life was very hard for him. I was in school but most times, would take up part time jobs just for him. When I met him, he lived in a gift shop and he was just a salesman there, at 30 years old.

It was painful for me to see a grown up man ending up as a sales boy in a shop, even with his education.. From that point on, I made a decision to help him out of his misery. We started going from one pastor to another, one place to another in search for solution, until God show us the way.

Hubby said he wanted to go to an aviation school to become a ticketing agent. The plan was okay but money was the issue. I hustled and finally raised the money for him to enroll and he did.

All this while, I thought hubby was an orphan because I saw no family member of his call or visit. I stayed with him in that small place his boss gave him at the store which had no windows and never complained. I was mocked by people, talk down to and insulted by other girls.

Hubby started school and by God’s Grace, he finished it. To cut the story short, we got married and was blessed with a son. That was when my misery started. His mom brought his step-brother so he could help them travel out, I was never against it as he helped his 3 brothers and one uncle. But from then on, I became the black sheep of their family.

My husband would take our matters to his family for discussion. I became a topic of discussion. His brothers were always right even when one brought a slut to our home and slept with her on our matrimonial bed. He threatened to kill me when I confronted him.

Now, his 2 brothers are back and they he wants them to live in our home with my mom who has been helping me taking care of my kids. Hubby never even told me that they were coming with their girlfriends. I felt so insulted and stupid and all he could say was that he forget to tell me. Now, he wants me to give them our house keys.

I need advice on how to handle this situation and my marriage as I’m losing my sanity and I have a heart problem. When I am too stressed, I end up in the hospital. Right now, I can’t help but cry all day and night. If I had known that things would turn out this way, I wouldn’t have married him, let alone help him when I did. I have suffered for this man and this is how he repays me now.

His character is bad, he cheats and don’t give a fuck about how I feel. He womanises and takes girls to the beach with them not minding how my heart will take it. He knows about my health conditions, yet it does not bother him.

I don’t know if I should manage till am buoyant enough with my business or should I just leave? I feel insulted everyday, I feel humiliated by him. I don’t feel loved or protected, don’t even if feel like it is my home anymore. When I wanted divorce the first time, people talked me into considering my kids and all that but I am depressed everyday and really really sad. Or maybe I should just take some time out to clear my head and to figure out what I really want.

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